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"It doesn't have to be this way"

Updated: Nov 3, 2019

“It doesn’t have to be this way”

What if someone told you that it doesn’t have to be this way?

your relationships

your mood

your marriage

your finances

your health

your work

What is your “it?”

What if "it" didn’t have to be this way?

We as human beings have the extraordinary ability to change.

We are evolutionary creatures. We are wired for change and growth. Our bodies are constantly growing and changing. Our minds and personalities are ever evolving. (google Neuroplasticity) (

My darling father has many sayings that he has shared with me MANY times throughout my life. He is full to the brim with wisdom and is such a generous father to share with his still growing daughter.

One of my favorites quotes is …

“The only thing constant in life is change.”

Ain’t it the truth?

Things change.

We change.

Others change.

Seasons change.

Lately I have been frustrated with this reality...(more on that another day.)

But what if we accepted our ability to change? What if we were empowered by this ability?

The Narcotics Anonymous Handbook says…

“Freedom to change often comes after acceptance of ourselves.”

We all have the opportunity

to change.

to grow.

to flourish.

But it doesn’t just happen.

We must CHOOSE

to change.

to grow.

to flourish.

First we have to identify what it is we want to change…

Then we accept the fact that…

// It doesn’t have to be this way //

Then we have to move…

Take action.

So what if it doesn’t have to be this way?


what if we have the ability to change?

Then what?

Glad you asked.

Then we say it out loud.

To someone we love, respect, and trust.

This can be vulnerable…and you may know how I feel about vulnerability…

It’s important and changes lives.

What if we committed to trying something new?

Einstein is famous for saying …

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again-expecting different results.”



Try something new.

Change your mind.

Set a goal.

Tell someone about it.

Move towards it.

Let it scare you.

Do it anyway.

(if it's a worthy pursuit it most likely will scare you.)

I am voraciously curious about how I can live in a space of abundance, peace, and flourishing.

I would like to take an educational moment. The topic?


This psychological theory addresses a super power that we possess right now in our lives.

Our ability to choose.

That if we are awakened to believe that we can choose and see positive results we will move from stuck and motionless to free and empowered to change.

Of course there are unavoidable pains and sorrows in our lives that take away our choice.

Suffering that is NOT self inflicted and pain that is like an bullet to the heart that could not be dodged.

That pain we did not choose can be paralyzing at times.

But what about our experiences could we change? What things in our lives DO we have control over?

What could we choose to pursue that would bring us closer to joy, health, and flourishing?

What if it didn’t have to be this way?

I have had days where I believed it would always be this way…

but the reality is that…

It doesn’t have to be this way.

My pastor, friend, and flourisher Keith Case made an incredible point in a sermon discussing God as counselor.

He said...

“One of the most powerful tools we have in our toolbox is our pain. God is called the counselor and comforter because He knew that we would have pain and need comfort and counsel.”

He begged the question…

“What if we could embrace our pain and live out of our story?"

We are asked to look at our pain and in response create a new reality.

Our dearest Brené Brown puts it this way…

“Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending -- to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how this story ends.”- Rising Strong

This is hard stuff. But I also submit that it may be incredibly worth it.

So again I ask what is your “it?"

Do you believe that “it” doesn’t have to be this way?

I am submitting to you that it may not have to be this way.

So what will we do about it?

Try something new.

Change your mind.

Set a goal.

Tell someone about it.

Move towards it.

Let it scare you.

Do it anyway.


Take Care.

Take Heart.


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